The Truth Behind The Stories
by Obsessed.with.writing
Summary: Stephenie Meyer gave us the edited version. So what really happened in Twilight? TOLD STRAIGHT FROM THE KEYBOARDS OF THE INSANE EMOS KNOWN AS Obsessed.with.writing and emoTWiLiGHT! Caution: You will have the urge to send us to the crazy house!
1. Chapter 1

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**Welcome to Obsessed.with.writing and emoTWiLiGHT's Random Crazies! These events are actual. No dramatization has been added. It all happened how it is told here. Believe it or not, this is REALITY FANFICTION: Volume One. No copyright infringement intended.**

**P.S. We don't own Twilight, we're just lucky to be characters in it!!**

**Disclaimer- We don't own Twilight. This is us being complete idiots, sorry if you loose the will to live with our strange antics.**

_Kadalea: emoTWiLiGHT  
Ashleigh: Obsessed.with.writing_

Kadalea: o. what song was that? are you putting it in your story or something? oh you said.. f... im not gonna repeat it. lol

Ashleigh: Its Blood by My Chemical Romance and it was on my iPod. Now it's So I'm running away!

Kadalea: Yes, I am.

Ashleigh: You're running away?! NOO! -Gets the razor and slits her wrists multiple times until blood is splattered everywhere-

Kadalea: o what the heck!? no, in chapter 26 Edward's all "Running away?" and Ashleigh says "Yes, I am." so I quoted that to see if you would get it but apparently you didn't. wait a minute! why am i even replying! you cutted your wrists! you're dead! NO! -starts crying hysterically, turns off computer, leaves house, travels to Italy, goes to the clock tower, launches self in air-

Ashleigh: How ironic is it that I'm listening to a song that sings 'Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out' when you just threw yourself off the clock tower? Lol. We are now in writer and beta heaven.

Kadalea: haha lol. oo if we're in writer and beta heaven, then we get new reviews every minute, right?

Ashleigh: Yup and we are the lexiest ones up there.

Kadalea: Fo shizzle.

Ashleigh: The only bad thing is that we look like we did when we died so I have thousands of bleeding scars all over my arms.

Kadalea: Must...resist...blood... -looks at Ashleigh's arms- CAN'T RESIST BLOOD -attacks Ashleigh's arms- Yum.

Ashleigh: Aw why did you have to do that? Go wipe your mouth, there's blood all over your face now.

Kadalea: -sheepish grin- sorry Ashleigh. I couldn't resist. It was just so... red... and warm... and... -blood thirst flashes in eyes-

Ashleigh: No. Go and wipe your mouth now. Don't make me get the lexy dead werewolves onto you.

Kadalea: -pouts- you're no fun. besides, you don't even taste that good! so :P oo lexy dead werewolves... are they... you know.. LEXY? -waggles eyebrows-

Ashleigh: NO MY BLOOD DOESN'T TASTE GOOD. -Reaches for a razor blade and cuts wrists repeatedly...again-

Kadalea: -struggles with overwhelming thirst- i didn't say it wasn't good... just not very good. it's blood, of course it's good. so stop doing that unless you want to die, darn it! -looks at blood, almost pounces, but stops self growls-

Ashleigh: I'm already dead, remember I slit my wrists. -Gets self concious- Stop looking at my wrists!

Kadalea: haha oops. oo so i can suck all the blood i want and you won't die?? cool. -looks at wrists thirstily-

Ashleigh: STOP IT! What did my wrists ever do to you? -Runs away crying-

Kadalea: NO! I made her leave! no!! -cries and takes razor to own wrists- what did i do that for?! i made her go away! -cries more-

Ashleigh: -Comes back, her arms bandaged up with a long sleeved top on- I'm slightly self concious of my arms around you now. -Looks down at the blood on your arms and starts having a panic attack-

Kadalea: -shifty eyes- What blood? what wrists? no blood on my wrists here. -puts towel over wrists-

Ashleigh: -Starts to calm down slightly- I'm writing the silent killer up in my story.

Kadalea: -tries not to look at the lexy dead writer's arms- oo yay! love that poem! it's so cheesecakeing lexy! ... -cough-likeyourblood-cough- NOTHING! I SAID NOTHING!

Kadalea: Wait a minute, since i launched myself off the clock tower, my arms and legs are all bent out of shape from hitting the ground.

Ashleigh: You should have just gone to the Volturi.

Kadalea: that's what i tried to do! but they refused to kill me, and i couldn't exactly remove my shirt to let the sun glitter off my skin... o.0

Ashleigh: Then you have to provoke them. You know, keep poking Jane in the side until she bites your head off.

Kadalea: ... you couldn't have told me that when i was still alive?! then again, did i realyl want death by the hands of jane? at least the clock tower was painless...

Ashleigh: Yes but with Jane you don't get the spazzed arms and legs.

**A.N.- Yes we actually had this conversation. This is (almost) totally unedited. The only part that is edited was one little bit because we were sending one then receiving another and it wouldn't make sense if you read it so we edited it slightly. The truth behind great writers is that they have friends that they can talk about random insane things.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Welcome to Obsessed.with.writing and emoTWiLiGHT's Random Crazies! These events are actual. No dramatization has been added. It all happened how it is told here. Believe it or not, this is REALITY FANFICTION: Volume One. No copyright infringement intended.**

**P.S. We don't own Twilight, we're just lucky to be characters in it!!**

_Ashleigh: Obsessed.with.writing  
Kadalea: emoTWiLiGHT_

June 10th, 2008... 7:40am/12:40pm -- 8:43am/1:43pm

Ashleigh: -tells Kadalea a supersecret plot to her superawesome story- Should I write it?

Kadalea: Yes! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes! !!

Ashleigh: Ok. I will... I'm not writing. Why am I not writing? -Slits wrists again-

Kadalea: NO! SHE QUIT WRITING _AND_ SHE SLIT HER WRISTS! LIFE IS MEANINGLESS! -wanders off to provoke the Volturi-

Ashleigh: No I didn't give up writing DON'T LEAVE ME! -Breaks down crying in the woods then goes catatonic for months, then attempts to throw myself off a cliff-

Kadalea: -watches Ashleigh jump off cliff- NO! -slits wrists-

Ashleigh: -Gets saved by Jacob- YAY JACOB! -Hugs Jacob-

Jacob: Erm I thought you were Bella.

Ashleigh: Well it was still nice that you saved me.

Jacob: Erm...

Bella: -on the ground laughing hysterically, watching Ashleigh and Jacob.-  
Kadalea: I don't think Jacob likes you, Ashleigh... and it sucks, doesn't it? Since he imprinted on you and you killed Bella for him...  
Bella: o.0 wtc? I'm dead?  
Edward: NO! -sobs- -provokes Volturi-

Ashleigh: -Grabs Edward- She's not! Go hug her!

Edward: -races to Bella and hugs her-  
Ashleigh: Good vampire. -Walks over to Jacob- Bella doesn't love you like that, so go imprint on someone.

Edward and Jacob: -blink-  
Edward: Vampire?  
Jacob: Imprint?  
Edward and Jacob: -look at each other.- -gulp-  
O what does she know about us?

Ashleigh: -Smiles- I've got to go now. I've already said too much. -Runs away screaming 'PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!'-

Jacob: -suddenly realises Ashleigh just told him Bella doesn't love him.- What?! NO!! -Throws self on ground, crying-  
Edward: -smirk-  
Jacob: WHY!? WHY WHY WHY WHY!! -grabs razor- Wait a minute. -tosses razor aside- -thinks: if I provoke Edward, he'll kill me and then I won't have to live through this pain... hmm-

Edward: -Hears Jacob's thoughts- Dude, because you WANT this do you think I'll do it? -Thinks: Wait, where did that randomer go?- -Looks at Kadalea and sees the blood- Must...resist...the blood!

Kadalea: o.0 What blood?

Ashleigh: You slit your wrists when I jumped off the cliff, remember?

Kadalea: Oh. Well I have to go now anyway...

Ashleigh: NO! -Grabs razor and goes to slit wrists but gets stopped by Jacob-

**Oo! What will happen next!? Stay tuned!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Welcome to Obsessed.with.writing and emoTWiLiGHT's Random Crazies! These events are actual. No dramatization has been added. It all happened how it is told here. Believe it or not, this is REALITY FANFICTION: Volume One. No copyright infringement intended.**

**P.S. We don't own Twilight, we're just lucky to be characters in it!!**

_Ashleigh: Obsessed.with.writing  
Kadalea: emoTWiLiGHT_

…Written June 10th, idk the time…  
But yay to Ashleigh for copying this chapter out of the depths of the hole it was hidden in. xD

-Ashleigh suggests that she and Kadalea should talk in their super-secret way.-

Kadalea: oo what 'super-secret thing? this?

Ashleigh: Yes this! What else would it be? Flying flipping monkeys?!

Kadalea: O. Sorry for being stupid! Gosh! I'm such a burden to you! -bursts out sobbing-

Ashleigh: CRAP CRAP CRAP I'm sorry I didn't mean it! -Breaks down crying then reaches for a gun- Wait, since when do I have a gun?

-still crying- Yes. Yes you did. You meant it! You hate me! -sobs-  
-regains composure-  
If you hate me so much... why don't I just end it..  
-snatches gun out of Ashleigh's hand-  
This is because of you.

-The SWAT team comes- It's ok Kadalea, just put the gun down.  
-Ashleigh cries in the corner- I don't want her to die! It's all my fault! -Bangs head off wall many times until her head is bleeding badly-

Kadalea: NO! I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU! -turns gun onto SWAT team- -pulls trigger- -pulls trigger again- o.0 what the frak?! Nothing's happening!! Ashleigh, you gave me a broken gun! -throws gun aginst wall and cries-

-Ashleigh hit her head too hard and is now up dancing and singing- She's into superstitions, black cats and voodoo dolls.

-Kadalea thinks Ashleigh has gone crazy- -backs away slowly-

-Kellan Lutz and Emmett Cullen join in Ashleigh's little dance- She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain, she'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain, like a bullet to your brain Come on!

-Kadalea stops backing away when she sees Kellan. She runs towards them and skids to a stop right in front of him.-  
I'LL DANCE! I'LL BE CRAZY! YAY!

-Ashleigh laughs, then realises… Kellan, Emmett and Ashleigh all together- Hey! I'm not crazy!

Kellan: o.0 You're not crazy? Pshh, I'll go hang out with Kadalea!  
Emmett: Right with you, dude!  
-Kadalea laughs at Ashleigh and sticks out her tongue-

-Tears well up in Ashleigh's eyes- Fine, I'll just go. -Bows her head and sulks off into the distance while sad music plays-

Kadalea: KELLAN! EMMETT! LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YOU MADE ASHLEIGH SAD!! I HATE YOU!  
-stomps away from Kellan and Emmett- Stupid heartbreaking vampire-actors.

-Ashleigh is found in a vampire club surrounded by Edward and Robert and Kristen and everyone else besides Kellan and Emmett while dancing to Misery Business LIVE with PARAMORE in the club-

-Kadalea sits at home, listening to sad music and crying depressingly because she wasn't invited to the vampire club with Edward and the others and paramore.-

-Ashleigh knocks on Kadalea's bedroom door- You stole Kellan and Emmett from me, I didn't think you'd leave them, you can come to the party thing if you want. -Ashleigh is feeling guilty and already has her razors out, waiting for Kadalea to tell her that she hates Ashleigh-

-Kadalea knocks the razors out of Ashleigh's hands.- I don't hate you! I thought you hated me! ... yeah ok let's skip past this tearful reunion and just go SEE ROBERT AND EDWARD IN THE VAMPIRE CLUB! -squeals-

Ashleigh: But now I feel bad about Kellan and Emmett, they're probably standing randomly on a road looking upset because they have nowhere to go -Ashleigh grabs the razor and about to cut her wrists-

-Kellan, Emmett, and Kadalea scream together- NO!  
-Kadalea reaches for Ashleigh's wrist, but Ashleigh is suddenly knocked to the ground by Kellan. The razor flies through the air. Emmett is nowhere to be seen-

-Ashleigh blushes Bella style and looks at Kellan- Hi -She reaches for her razor and puts it in her pocket-

-Kellan realises he's still on top of Ashleigh- Sorry. -Gets off, blushes redder than Ashleigh and Bella combined-  
-Kadalea runs to find Emmett and convince him that there is no blood-

-Ashleigh giggles like a fang girl- It's ok -giggles again- Thanks for, stopping me from cutting myself, I swear I don't have a problem.

-Kellan grins- You better not. I'd hate to see such a pretty girl like yourself with scars all over her arms. -gives Ashleigh the Dazzle-  
-Kadalea is only slightly jealous, but she is reminded that Edward is at the vampire club and is now impatient to go there-

-Ashleigh squeals and goes hyper- Who gave me water?

-Kellan looks confused- Water?

Ashleigh: -Looks at Kadalea- Kads, do you want to explain? I'm still hyper and I want to run around for a bit.

Kadalea: ok Kellan... Water makes Ashleigh hyper. like, when she drinks it, she just gets all sugar high or whatever. It's insane. It just makes her so unbelievably hyper. All the time. It makes her hyper all the time. And then she starts laughing uncontrollably, and screaming like an idiot. Yeah, water is like a drug to Ashleigh. She's not addicted, I don't think, but it just affects how she acts. So now I've gone and confused myself by explaining it to you. Stupid lush-eyed actor.

-Ashleigh runs around in a circle- Wheeee!

-Kellan looks at Ashleigh, not sure if she's just hyper of if she truly is crazy-  
Kadalea: COME ON! I WANT TO GO TO THE VAMPIRE CLUB AND SEE EDWARD!

Ashleigh: -Grabs Kadalea and throws her over her shoulder giving her a piggie back all the way to the party while humming the Indiana Jones theme-

-Kellan and Emmett follow Ashleigh, laughing at the bewildered Kadalea-

Ashleigh: -Gets to the club and begins dancing because she's got way to much energy, Paramore start playing Whoa!- I love this song! We've got everybody singing Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! And we've got everybody singing Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

-Kadalea ignores her favourite paramore songs, heading straight for Edward Cullen. Bella is not there. Kadalea grins and walks up to Edward, attempting to Dazzle him, but is knocked speechless when she sees him-

-Ashleigh is doing cartwheels at this moment, then she sees Kellan Lutz again and she faints-

-Kadalea hasn't even noticed Ashleigh. She stopped breathing the second she saw Edward Cullen... and that was 84 seconds ago.-

Edward: Breathe, -He chuckles, Ashleigh is still unconscious on the floor-

Kadalea: OMG EDWARD CULLEN TALKED TO ME! -hyperventilates and passes out, joining the unconscious Ashleigh on the floor-

-Ashleigh wakes up and screams goes crazy then takes the razor blade to her arm and starts cutting again, which is a bad idea in a room full of vampires-

-Kadalea looks at Ashleigh like she's an idiot-  
Holy frak. why would you just randomly wake up and start cutting yourself?! and in a room full of vampires, no less! Maybe I should have sent you to a mental house.  
-all vampires in the club stopped and blinked, turning to Ashleigh with obvious bloodlust in their eyes-

Ashleigh: -Looks at the vampires- Meh, you wouldn't like my blood, it tastes like crap, I know, I've tried it

Kadalea: o.0 You've tasted your blood?  
-Emmett snickers. Kellan punches Emmett for being mean to Ashleigh-

Ashleigh: I couldn't help that my mouth started to randomly bleed when I was in Primary school! -Bows head and walks out of the room-

-Kellan follows and asks if Ashleigh wants to rejoin the party-

-Ashleigh giggles like a idiot- No there are vampires in there and They vant to sauk my blood! -Ashleigh pretends to be Dracula by baring her teeth-

-Kellan smiles at Ashleigh's cute impersonation of Dracula-  
ok. we'll stay out here then. What do you want to do? -Kellan sits on the ground next to Ashleigh, his amazingly hot dimples showing as he smiles slightly-

-Stupid Kadalea interrupts Ashleigh and Kellan.-  
Good thing the only vampires were the Cullens, and they recently fed. What were you thinking, Ashleigh?! -sees Kellan-  
Oh. I'll leave.  
-walks away to find Edward-

-Ashleigh faints into Kellan's arms-

-Kellan is slightly alarmed that Ashleighas fainted again, but content that she fainted into his arms.-

-Ashleigh wake up confused and sees Kadalea walking away- Kads where are you going?

-Kads grins impishly- I don't think Kellan wanted me to intrude upon you two just yet... -giggles and runs-

Ashleigh: -Looks up at Kellan and blushes scarlet- Sorry about that. -Stands up and brushes herself off- I really didn't mean to do that, you want to go back inside? -Kellan nods and walks inside with Ashleigh-

-Kellan and Ashleigh walk in to see Kads surrounded by everyone. Suddenly they all stop talking and turn.- Oh! -everyone says at the same time-

-Ashleigh looks at everyone confused- Oh? Couldn't think of a better word? What does oh mean? Did you guys break something?

-Alice smirks- Not oh. Ooh! Ooh. As in... ooh. -blinks, confused-

-Kellan looks at Alice confused- Kellan: Ok, so ooh is good? -He turns to Ashleigh- Do you understand any of this? -Ashleigh shakes her head-  
Ashleigh: Not a clue

-Alice sighs, exasperated- Just forget about it. -Edward looks at her, reading her thoughts. He smiles. Kadalea is once again Dazzled.-

-Ashleigh rolls her eyes, she spies a pitcher of water and slyly tries to sneak towards it-

Kadalea: Did you just roll your eyes at me?! IT'S NOT MY FAULT EDWARD CAN DAZZLE ME SO EASILY!! GOSH!! YOU GET JUST AS DAZLLED AROUND KELLAN!! YOU SHOULD BE THANKING ME THAT I'VE NOT YET TOLD HIM WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT HIM TO ME THROUGH PM'S ON FANFICTION! -stops yelling. blinks. realises what she said.-  
oops.  
-Kellan, who was on his way to stop Ashleigh from drinking water, stopped in his tracks to listen to Kadalea... and he's now staring at Ashleigh, wondering what Kadalea was talking abuot...-

-Tears brim Ashleigh's eyes as she runs to the bathroom and locks herself in a stall, getting out her razor-

NO! -Kadalea races to the bathroom and apologises to Ashleigh. Suddenly, Kadalea stops speaking. Then Ashleigh hears another voice.-  
Kellan: Ashleigh! No! Please don't do it!  
Kadalea: Kellan, wtc are you doing in the womens bathroom?!  
Kellan: -stutters- Oh.. Um. I.. uh.. Wh? Oops. -Kellan runs out of bathroom, embarrassed. He hadn't realised that it was the womens bathroom, he just wanted to stop Ashleigh from cutting herself and tell her it didn't matter what Kadalea said cause he loved her.-

-Ashleigh has already slit her wrists and blood is oozing out and she is going to Writer heaven again-

-Kadalea runs, grabs Kellan, and pulls him back into the bathroom. He races to Ashleigh's side and attempts to stop the bleeding. After a minute, it still hasn't worked. Kellan breaks down crying and gives Ashleigh a kiss before cutting himself, as well.-

-Carlisle jumps into the bathroom- Carlisle: Never fear! Carlisle the amazing doctor is here! -Carlisle helps Ashleigh and Kellan before moonwalking off in a Superman costume- Carlisle: Oh yeah, I went there!

-Kadalea is dumbfounded as she watches Carlisle. After he leaves, she bursts into fits of laughter, embarrassing the crap out of herself with all the odd squeaking she's doing in an attempt to get her breathing back.-

-Ashleigh shakes her head when she sees Carlisle moon walk out-  
Ashleigh: That might be THE single scariest thing I've seen in my life. -Thinks- Ashleigh: Wait, no, that was when Toni pulled Peter's towel down on the Year 10 german trip -Shudders-

Kadalea: I agree. It was really funny... but... just... OW!  
-Ashleigh says the part about the towel-  
-Kadalea screams- o what the frak!

-Ashleigh holds her hands up in defense-  
Ashleigh: I didn't see anything I swear! Oh and the girl who I was talking to about Jacob wants to be in this story but I told her no because she wanted to kill Jacob and I said she wasn't allowed to and then she called you quote stupis unquote and then she called Jacob Hitler. -Jacob walks in looking upset-  
Jacob: Why do people have to be so mean to me? -He runs away crying-

Kadalea: AMEN TO THAT! -laughs-  
Oh, so you told that girl about out story? And what, she called ME stupid? ...stupis... whatever... -laughs- Why?

Kadalea: Ohh don't worry Jacob, I haven't forgotten you! We don't LET people be mean to you, they just are. I think they're upset that you love Bella. Because they love the lexy Edward and want him and Bella to be together. Officially, I feel the same way. But if you were to take Bella from Edward and let me have Edward, I wouldn't mind. -smiles-

-Ashleigh rolls her eyes-  
Ashleigh: Jacob I like you. But I don't think anyone expects Bella to choose anyone over Edward, so you really need to go and imprint on someone else.

Jacob: Why are you always telling me to go imprint on someone!? I don't want to imprint on anyone! I want Bella! -runs away, sobbing-

Ashleigh: -Looks confused then sighs- He's going to imprint one day and when someone mentions Bella he'll be like 'Bella who?'

Kadalea: -Smiles-  
That's true. That's very true.  
-Jacob yells from a distance- NO IT'S NOT! -sobs break out again-  
-Kadalea rolls her eyes-  
Sometimes I wish Bella would choose Jacob. So I could have Edward... But know he would never want anyone other than Bella. Could be why I cry myself to sleep. -shrugs- I don't know.

-Ashleigh stands up and goes back into the big dance hall thing where she sits in the corner and thinks-

-Kadalea is bored now that Ashleigh has gone off to think. Kadalea walks over to the stage where paramore is playing and is insanely happy as the screamo to 'my heart' comes on-

-Ashleigh explained that she was too depressed to finish this off and ended the scene here-

Kadalea: -sets out on a mission to cheer Ashleigh up-

**Wow. This was our longest chapter ever. AND THE BEST in my opinion.  
Sigh… moonwalking Carlisle dressed as Superman….. LOL.**

**Please review! Hope this chapter wasn't confusing. Lol.**

**And this is Ashleigh to say it's my favourite chapter too just utterly insane.**


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